VANCOUVER – If you’ve been keeping up with the newsletter, then you know normally this would be an interview week. Unfortunately, my chases, as we say in the biz, didn’t come together in time. So instead we’re going to take a look at a crucial pillar of the Human Pursuits social calendar: the low-effort but **nonetheless luxurious** world of appointment-television viewing parties.
At the risk of sounding like a geriatric millennial, I must admit I find cord-cutting… kind of cringe. Why are you so keen to move through life completely untethered? What are you running from? Industry experts often position cable, and appointment viewing, as a sort of anchor; an outdated technology that weighs consumers down. And yet I challenge anyone to find a piece of technology more timeless, more trustworthy, than a steel anchor. Sure it weighs you down, but in doing so it provides some much-needed stability; a way to rest without going completely off course.
It’s in this sense that I consider cable an essential utility, on par with water, power, and the internet; a simple luxury that makes life entirely miserable when it is gone. Part of this is, of course, because cable reduces choice paralysis. Unless you’re recording 60 Minutes on the PVR, what you see is what you get. In the 90s, this led many disgruntled dads to rant about cable as if it was needlessly excessive. “400 channels and nothing to watch” they would say. Oh, you sweet summer child. You’ve clearly never had to sift through a half dozen streaming services, only to settle on the latest episode of Netflix’s Is It Cake?
But while the lack of choice is a luxury in itself, where appointment-tv really flourishes is in the real-time analysis. How that conversation occurs, though, is crucial. Any Joe or Jane Twitterfingers can fire off a couple lobs about Succession and “The Disgusting Brothers.” And if that’s your jam, more power to you. But true appointment-viewing aficionados know the most powerful communal experience rests within the cocoon-like confines of the good-old-fashioned viewing party.
Done right, the appointment-viewing party is the gold standard of all mid-week hangouts. It makes a Wednesday night in with Jeff Probst feel like The Oscars, only more low-key. Central to this is the fact that a good viewing party begins slightly before the program in question, allowing gossip between trusted friends to flow freely. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, talking shit with your friends over grocery store veggie trays and bags of Tropical Skittles or Sour Cream ‘n Bacon Ruffles before seeing who gets ousted at this week’s Tribal Council has to be near the top. If there’s a cheeky cosmo involved, all the better. But while it feels more elevated than watching TV alone in the dark, the appointment-viewing party must also be unabashedly nonchalant. No doilies, no dress code, no problem. The only real requirements are a shared interest in #Scandoval, and a willingness to share your insights on Rachel and Tom’s body language.
In 2023, I can think of nothing that sounds quite so luxurious. Cable television is cheaper than therapy; it is self-care on par with parking lot cold plunges and micro-dosing psilocybin. So why not triple down? A glimpse of the calendar shows Wednesdays are for Survivor with Kristyn and John, Thursdays are for Pump with Alex and Kate (okay, this one is streaming a day late on Hayu, so sue me nerds, everything above still stands) and Sundays are for Murphy-family Succession. It’s a packed schedule but I’m not complaining. As the saying goes, It’s Not TV; it’s so much better.
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