Oh Messy Life #4: Pardon my French
Frozen bananas, Brian on Vanderpump, Eliza on LA + NYC, Johanna in Normandy, and MISOGI with a Proper Chune
Welcome to Oh Messy Life, the column that boldly declares “There’s already an app for that!”
For those blissfully unaware: on Tuesday Substack’s ongoing pivot to video picked up steam, with the launch of Substack Creator Studio. The initiative will see the company pick 10 pre-established TikTok stars for “a fellowship” aimed at “turn[ing] their TikTok channels into Substack shows and communities.”
Pardon my French but what the f*ck, brother.
Watching video on Substack sounds a little like using Nair to remove your butt hair. You can do it, sure, but there are better options available.
I know Substack drama is the lowest form of digital conversation. However, the situation highlights a recurring point of tension between tech companies and their users. Namely, what happens when your bid to attract more people upsets the ones that are already here?
As far as I can tell, the people most interested in expanding Substack’s toolkit are Substack executives. The call is coming from inside the house and users and audiences alike are being urged to embrace everything the platform has to offer. To create and consume video and audio and chats and DMs and oh yes writing. Never mind that each of those mediums is wildly different from the other. This is not about specific skills or interests. It’s about content, baby!
Substack believes that this multi-hyphenate approach is good for growth on both sides of the fence. In an interview with Sundberg, co-founder and “Chief Writing Officer” said users who incorporate audio and video into their publications “grow 2.5 times faster than those who don’t.” And that’s probably true. But it implies such growth exists outside Substack’s sphere of influence, which seems slightly disingenuous.
The company wants to grow its video and audio offerings. I have to assume it will promote users who embrace those products. Who pivot gracefully into the skid.
In the past few months, the company’s press room, On Substack, has published several articles centered on podcasts and videos with titles like “Video on Substack gets a major upgrade,” “One year of Substack Notes—now with video and external embeds,” and “How to launch a show on Substack”.
A FAQ posted Tuesday saw the company promising to promote successful Substack Creator Studio applicants on Substack Reads, its “guide to great writing on Substack.”
I dunno, man. If I was smarter, maybe I’d buy a green screen and DSLR and get to work.
But I’m here because I like to write. It seems like that should be enough.
[Editor’s note: Substack Creator Studio is currently only available to people in U.S.]
Anyways!
“What in tarnation”: Last night, Leah and I grabbed frozen bananas from Mister Ice Cream (above) and walked the path around Kits Beach and Vanier Park. Our makeshift loop was about 6.3 kilometers. The sun was still shining when we got home. Felt good.
The season finale of Vanderpump Rules had me texting Bravo expert Brian Moylan. No spoilers but the Dame did tell me he’s “curious where we go from here.” To quote reality TV: what is the path forward?
This week was all about Cloud Nothings and Steve Albini. You can scratch both itches at once by listening to Attack On Memory. If you want more Steve, the 2013 mixes of In Utero are also great.
’s essay on moving to NYC was the best thing I read on Substack this week. It contains no audio or video and it still captured a shit ton of likes, comments, and re-stacks. Funny how that works.
She hasn’t been interviewed for the newsletter (yet) but “friend of the program” Johanna Wagstaffe bid Canada adieu this week for a family getaway to France. She writes:
Bonjour from Normandy! Thrilled to be here (in this newsletter) and on maternity leave in France with the husband, our two kids and our 115 pound dog, Rodney. Don’t worry, he had a healthy dose of Trazadone to get here. But we really should divvied it up…
It was an epic journey that included renting a stick shift delivery van to get the family and our XL dog crate through the streets of Paris, to the family home in the countryside.
No. Sleep. Till Normandy.
Rodney has already broken bread with a donkey. I can’t put into words exactly why I love it so much. I think the involved act of getting here in itself is a lesson in leaving behind the daily grinds and just bringing with you the daily joys. By the time you emerge from 24 hours of travel you are ready to let the work to live life sink it. Our five year old asked if we could all go away together for ‘100 days.’ How special it is to get to say yes.
Proper Chune
When I wasn’t listening to noisey indie rock, I was enjoying the new MISOGI album. This song is crunchy in a deeply satisfying way.