Texts about Taylor Swift (Human Pursuits 21/10/22)
A crowd-sourced review of the singer-songwriter's tenth studio album
VANCOUVER – Thursday night, 9 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.
Taylor Swift’s new album, Midnights, causes Spotify to briefly crash, as anxious fans log on to hear the popstar’s eagerly anticipated tenth studio album. Among them: a Vancouver-based group chat. What follows is their unofficial review.
Track 1: Lavender Haze
K: “I was literally on the second it was released I watched the countdown”
K:“:/ not sure about this so far.”
Track 2: Maroon
L: “The lyrics on Maroon are so bad”
E: “Two tracks in and I think Jacks production is hurting this”
L: “So so bad”
Track 3: Anti-Hero
E: “Anti-Hero sounds good. Immediate smash”
K: “Anti-Hero was better the second listen for me. I expected more from the first single”
E: “Oh see I didn’t know it was a single. But it sounds like one”
K: “Being released at midnight”
Track 4: Snow On The Beach
E: “The way she says ‘fucking’ is cringe”
L: “She’s such a dork lmao. It just feels forced. [Also] Lana [Del Rey] was underutilized. Like you can’t even hear her”
K: “Yes agreed”
E: “I mean she kinda got the third verse which is big for Taylor”
K: “Not enough”
L: “Like I can’t tell who is who”
E: “Ya. I just think it’s Taylor Swift so I’d never expect her to give another gal much airtime”
L: “She did for Phoebe [Bridgers]. And Haim”
E: “Haim didn’t get their own verse did they?”
K: “No haim didn’t”
E: “I think Taylor’s scared of Phoebe lol”
Track 5: You’re On Your Own, Kid
K: “Second half of album is better than the first imo”
Track 6: Midnight Rain
L: “Midnight rain is cool”
K: “Yea it was meh for me. Like good but not a stand out”
L: “I appreciate that she tried something different”
E: “The sample thing in the chorus is cool but I wish [Bon Iver’s] Justin Vernon sang it lol which I know is a very specific request”
K: “Feels very jv”
Track 7: Question...?
E: “Question..? Is an objectively funny song title lmao”
K: “Question is popular with the TikTok girlies. But I have only listened once and don’t even remember that one”
E: “The bridge into the last chorus is kinda classic Taylor. So I will say I like it”
K: “It was just flattttttt where is the spice I’m bored.”
Track 8: Vigilante Shit
E: “Vigilante shit is her trying to sound like Billie [Eilish]. Which is so funny.”
K: “I didn’t like that one. This middle of the album is the worst part of it. Vigilante shit might grow on me tho. A baddie anthem”
L: “It’s definitely about scooter braun. Sounds like Taylor gave her proof he was cheating”
K: “I think ur right”
L: “Which is savage. Lmao”
Track 9: Bejeweled
E: “I think this album is mostly a grower. But it’s not a grower like folklore was. That album was something else”
K: “Folklore and evermore were iconic. Still not over that era”
E: “I maintain that evermore was not as good”
K: “I place them on an equal playing field. They’re the same entity to me. Almost like a side b”
E: “Evermore felt like a bunch of scraps lol folklore is 5 star no notes. Bejeweled is a slapper lol there it is”
K: “She does a pop banger so well”
E: “It says a lot that I haven’t been excited to hear a song since anti hero though. Weird first half for sure”
Track 10: Labyrinth
L: “Labyrinth sounds good”
K: “Labyrinth is in my top 3”
E: “Ya it could’ve been on folklore/evermore.”
K: “Yep”
E: “I thought it was okay until this last minute wtf sounds great”
L: “I like the ones where she tries new shit”
K: “Folklore…with a little spice ✨”
E: “Folklore if it had sex with Menswear”
Track 11: Karma
L: “Karma slaps”
E: “Wow Karma is that girl”
K: “Ok this one’s my fave. Buckle up. If u want pop ur about to get it”
E: “Do the verses sound like I’m shopping at H&M? Maybe!! But I do not mind. I’m ready to buy some cheap denim and hit the food court”
K: “It’s so fun”
E: “I will say it kinda sounds like Halsey. I’m not a women I’m a god specifically”
K: “The chorus is so good”
E: “My one complaint is that this song needed a big moment”
L: “And some of the lyrics were bad”
K: “It’s cheeky”
L: “Lyrically all around this album is weak”
E: “Ya ‘Karma is a cat on my lap’ is cute because of nibs [the cat] but also wtf lol”
K: “Well she did write them in the middle of the night!!! Lol”
Track 12: Sweet Nothing
E: “Biggest drawbacks are lyrics and the fact that it kinda sounds like Jack [Antonoff] made every song on GarageBand. This needed appearances from The 1975 and maybe Olivia [Rodrigo]…”
L: “Or Drake”
E: “Sonically the 1975 would’ve been a good fit. Even if they just produced a song and matty [Healy] didn’t sing on it”
K: “Being Funny In A Foreign Language album of the year”
L: “I needed a shocking moment”
E: “Ya it’s missing some sparkle”
Track 13: Mastermind
E: “Swifties will eat this last track up wow. QAnon levels. This is such a strange album from her. Weird track to end on”
K: “What do we think”
E: “Might be her worst since the debut lol but that’s also cause, generally, her albums are super strong”
L: “Ya definitely not very strong. Both from a production and lyrics front”
K: “Struggling to say I like it tbh Karma was my only wow.”
E: “There’s enough songs to keep me coming back which is what I usually need for a new album to click”
L: “Didn’t push any envelopes, and in the absence of that didn’t have any big bangers either. Just felt mid and half baked”
Epilogue
K: “I’m exhausted but kinda want to stay awake for [the] chaotic surprise”
E: “Is that what’s happening”
K: “Yes. She said 3am est there is a chaotic surprise”
E: “Not sure it’s worth it lmao. It will be a fifth vinyl to buy”
K: “If it’s merch or tour I’ll riot”
P: “it’s a tour announcement i think”
L: “Peyton emerges. Lmao”
E: “Omg hi peyton”
P: “i’ve been observing. lol”
Comments, criticisms, collaborations? Email me at ethan@humanpursuits.org, or follow me on Twitter and Instagram.